"Chloe... honey, you need to let it go."
"Her name is Stella, mum!" Chloe retorts, shifting on her feet, and then adds quietly, "She's a girl."
Her mother sighs, "Yes, that's right. Sorry," She looks towards a white wooden cupboard full of kids' books and toys that sit on the shelves in hospital playroom, waiting for someone to take them home. She looks back at Chloe.
"Sweetie, do we really have to go through this every single time?" She then looks to the bag filled with other plushies they'd brought to the hospital – which is unusually empty today – and then at the pastel pink teddy bear Chloe is clutching very tight.
When she realizes Chloe won't answer her, she says, "Alright, do you remember that girl with red hair we've seen in the lobby today?"
Chloe does remember her; she'd asked her mum, Anne, if she was okay because she'd been connected to an oxygen tank, breathing heavily on a stretcher while the nurse hurried to take her somewhere.
"Yes, I do. I hope she's fine now," Chloe says sadly.
"Do you remember how afraid she looked?" Anne asks her softly. She really hopes she doesn't spook her – no – that isn't her intention at all. She just wants her to understand why they are here right now, and that's probably why she doesn't let Chloe say anything before continuing, "She looked like she was about to cry. It must've felt really scary," her mother stops for a moment, deep in thoughts. Then she looks at her again, "She looked like she needed someone. And I think that she still needs someone right now, in her cold and boring hospital room. There probably aren't any teddy bears in there," she gently tucks Chloe's blonde lock of hair behind her ear, "So, do you know now why we're here? We're here for kids like her. Kids who need someone when they don't have anyone. And, you have plenty of other colorful friends waiting for you at home," she smiles warmly at her.
She wants to laugh when she remembers that it was Chloe's idea to donate plushies. Maybe she isn't ready to give them away after all, and quite frankly, Anne should've known that. She's only nine years old (Nine and a half!, Chloe would say) and a part of Anne feels really guilty for agreeing to this. But, as always, if Chloe wants something, you cannot talk her out of it.
"So, what do you think, will you give those plushies to other kids who don't have any and make them happy?" Anne already speculates that the answer will be no, so it startles her a bit when after a minute of Chloe's giggling and whispering to Stella (where Anne catches only words home and friends), Chloe determinedly walks to the cupboard and gently places Stella there.
She turns around to face her mum, smiling softly, like she's thinking about something. After a few seconds her smile falters and she turns around, grabbing Stella and stomping back to her mother, who was beaming just seconds ago and now looks taken aback. So much of donating, she thinks to herself and then looks at Chloe holding Stella once again.
She crouches beside Chloe and asks, "What's wrong?"
Chloe hesitates for a moment, like she's having a debate in her head. She can be reluctant at times, but Anne has never seen her this indecisive.
"Uh. Mum, can we...uh," Chloe struggles squeezing poor Stella as if it's her worst enemy, "can we maybe, like, ask the nurse or someone, in what room is that girl now, so I can, uh," she gestures widely to Stella, "introduce her to Stella?"
Anne's eyes widen in surprise as she stands up, "Uh, yes, of course. If they will let us," She takes a bag full of toys and places it next to the playroom door, so people don't trip over it while passing, and turns to gaze into Chloe's hazel eyes, "that's very nice of you" she says eventually and they start walking towards the lobby.
After a few minutes of Anne persuading her, along with bit of pretending they're the girl's family - which she knows is very bad influence on Chloe but she'll deal with that later - and Chloe's puppy stare, the receptionist lets them see the red-headed girl.
Room 403. What a terrible room to be in, especially when you have to climb five floors to get there because stupid elevator isn't working. The receptionist probably sent them there for revenge for lying, or at least that's what Chloe's thinking. She hates stares.
She takes a deep breath and knocks three times with probably too much force and enthusiasm before slowly cracking the door open, just enough to see the girl on the bed with closed eyes and even breathing. Chloe immediately feels bad for ever knocking on her door, and as she turns to tell her mother they should leave, the red-headed girl opens her eyes and says in a half-whisper, "Hi."
"Hello," Chloe smiles at her, still standing on a door frame, "Sorry to bother you."
"You're not. I wasn't sleeping anyway. Come in, I'm Olivia," She glances over the almost empty room and scrambles into a sitting position to remove her backpack and jacket off the chair, leaving it empty for Chloe to sit there. It slightly surprises Chloe how unbothered Olivia is by her sudden appearance, but she takes a seat anyway.
After a few seconds of awkward silence, Chloe decides to ask, "So, are you alone here?"
"No, my dad's gone to grab us something to eat and my mum will come later, hopefully. She's on some business trip in Berlin, even though I don't really know why she had to go. I mean, you can have a meeting on a video call, right? I-I don't ever know why I said that to you," She rummages through her backpack and takes out her phone. "Do you want something to eat? I can call my dad and tell him if yo-"
"Okay, okay, stop talking" Chloe interrupts before she blabbers out her entire CV to her. She is clearly well-rested now, considering how energetic she's been in the past two minutes.
"Let's start over – hello"
"Hi, and sorry" Olivia says apologetically.
"I'm Chloe," she says holding her hand out.
"I'm Olivia," she shakes her hand and grins.
They start talking and get so invested in every topic they talk about that Chloe forgets about her mum still standing by the door, and Olivia forgets about her dad bringing them food so she ends up sending him away.
Olivia tells her why she was taken to hospital - apparently, she had her first asthma attack and because she didn't have an inhaler, she needed to be transferred to hospital immediately. She's better now, though she's not allowed to laugh or move too much so it doesn't trigger another attack. Olivia also tells Chloe how scared she was the whole time, surrounded by doctors and nurses looking at her carefully, the air being pumped in her lungs along with medicine.
That makes Chloe remember why she'd originally came here. She gets up from the chair and goes to take her pink teddy bear from mum, who's been keeping it for a while now. She doesn't seem to mind much though, considering that she's eaten almost everything from her plate Olivia's dad offered her. Chloe gives her an expectant look, as if she's asking her why she is eating from Olivia's plate.
"Um. He said he'd buy her crackers from a vending machine later," her mum replies with half-full mouth.
Chloe just rolls her eyes and takes Stella with her. Great parents, really.
When she sits back on the chair, she gives her Stella, "Here, this is for you, so you don't get scared in hospital."
Olivia's eyes light up as she takes the plushie and hugs it tight. "Thank you".
"Her name is Stella and I think you will need her more than I will," Chloe says with a smile, "And, she has a pocket on her shirt so you can keep your inhaler in it."
After a while, which is spent on Chloe telling Olivia everything about Stella, her mum tells her it's time to go home. It's already dark outside, even though it's only 6 o'clock.
Chloe and her mum leave her room, but not before Chloe makes a promise to Olivia that they will have a tea party with all their plushies as soon as possible.
When they leave, Olivia's dad still isn't in the room with her, but unlike this afternoon, the hospital room isn't so cold and lifeless anymore. Stella is with her.
Olivia shifts in her bed and examines Stella. She is a pastel pink teddy bear with two red ribbons tied to her ears, dresses in a pale pink T-shirt with a pocket on the left side. She has two black sewn eyes and is smiling back to Olivia. She is very soft, like her fur was being well cared for.
"Well, it's just two of us, then" Olivia says and slumps back in her bed.
The day after that Olivia is allowed to go home. The doctor gives her instructions for what to do if she has an asthma attack and what food she should avoid, along with stuffy rooms and air fresheners.
She's happy to finally be home, in her own, much more comfortable bed. She hugs her mum when she gets home and goes to sleep after she'd answered all the questions about asthma - and there was tons of them.
She hugs Stella tightly in her bed, suddenly feeling restless and scared that she will get another attack. Stella helps her calm down and fall asleep easier. She starts to think about Chloe, about their conversation a day before and instantly relaxes.
And so the days go on. She learns how to handle stress and asthma attacks better with Stella; she's comforting in many ways: she is soft, so she can squeeze her and nothing will happen to her, she listens to her talk and she keeps her inhaler safe like she's telling Olivia that she's safe.
She also made a new friend because of Stella. A best friend, even. Chloe and Olivia had the tea party they intended - in which Stella got her T-shirt all wet from the tea, because yes they'd made real tea - and they ended it with a sleepover.
Months pass before Olivia goes to visit her cousins, twin brother and sister; they act like classic siblings, so it doesn't surprise her when after lunch they go to their small shared room and they, Leo and Emma, start bickering for the fifteenth time since Olivia has come. She takes out Stella from her backpack since she doesn't want to be interfered in their silly problems and begins to re-tie her ribbons.
The twins look at the pink plushie and say at the same time "Who is that?" and "Can I have it?"
Emma looks at her brother incredulously "Can I have it? Seriously, what is wrong with you? You can't just ask her that!"
"I was just joking-"
"Yeah, yeah, stop the act, we all know you want it just so you can shoot it into goal instead of a ball and smear it in mud," Emma interrupts viciously.
"And what, you're better than me, huh? You would sew it some lame clothes and because of your clumsiness you would stab it with a needle!"
Olivia doesn't listen to them arguing - again. Instead, she thinks about what Leo said; should she give Stella away? A part of her really, really doesn't want to because Stella is practically her child right now. She's taken her everywhere, told her everything that was on her mind, hugged her when she felt alone. When Olivia thinks about it, it's actually another way around; she's still the child. But then again, parents also need to let their children go, they grow up; in this case, Olivia learned some things and became stronger and maybe she doesn't need Stella as much as she thought.
She snaps back to reality and shouts, "HEY," which make twins' heads to turn to her "I will give you Stella, if you promise me you won't cut her head off or something".
They nod simultaneously and Emma grabs it by one hand and places it on her bed.
Olivia thinks that maybe she made a terrible mistake but shrugs it off. Stella might help them get along better, she helped Chloe and her. She thinks of that consolation as she discreetly wipes her damp eyes.
She doesn't even get to say a proper goodbye to her. Well, that's probably a part of life as well.
She leaves twins' house with a calm feeling.
Meanwhile, Emma takes Stella from her pile of other plushies on her bed. "Hmm, I'm gonna call you...Isabella!"
"Isn't its name Stella or something?" Leo says entering the room.
Emma glares at him "So what? Isabella suits her better."
After a few days, Leo takes the pink plushie to his football training so he can kick it after the practice. He and his friends have this rule that one of them needs to bring a thing to the practice every week so they can "sacrifice" it, which actually means they're going to run it through dirt and laugh like it's the funniest thing in the world.
And so it happens. When he comes home he throws the plushie in the corner between Emma's bed and wall. And Isabella, in the nicest words possible, looks hideous. Like those dolls you see in horror movies. She is sticky and dirty with dust and thread that connects Isabella's paw to the rest of its body is visibly pulled out.
Emma comes home from school and stops dead in her tracks "What in the world happened to Isabella??"
Leo doesn't look from his tablet as he speaks, "You can wash it."
"No! gosh, why would you do that to her? What did she ever do to you?" she picks Isabella up and goes to wash her.
After Emma washes her, she is still slightly dusty, but certainly better than before. When she enters the bedroom, Leo is not there anymore, but a white paper on her bed which wasn't there before is.
It says: Emma, I'm sorry I ruined Isabella, I hope that she's clean now. Guys from football want me to bring her again, but I don't think that's a good idea; I think you would kill me if I took her again. So, I've come to an idea: as we can't decide who she belongs to, why not give her to Andy, that kid you got for Secret Santa? You don't know what to get him anyway and he even said he can't find anything to buy for his sister for Christmas, so he would really appreciate it. We kill two birds with one stone. So, what do you say? Leo
Emma frowns. Why did he write her a letter? They both have phones. Despite that, she agrees.
At school, she takes out a decorative bag in which Isabella is and puts it on the desk next to Andy.
"Here, from your Secret Santa", she says while her hand lingers over the bag. "You'll thank me later."
Andy makes a face but mutters "thanks" anyway. It surprises him that he finds a pink plushie inside of the bag instead of something more masculine but then notices a small note at the bottom of the bag.
It's for your sister, you nerd. You're welcome.
His eyes spark with joy as he puts it back in the bag. When he comes home, he hides it in his wardrobe where it will wait for Christmas day. On Christmas Eve Andy sneaks out of his room at night and places the now clumsily wrapped toy under the tree.
On Christmas Day Andy's younger sister, Sophie, tears open every present she can get her hands on - she even opens one of her mum's gifts by accident - and Andy watches her carefully as she rips the wrapping paper off the present he gave her. She stops for a moment, examining the plushie, and gets up, "Great! Thanks, whoever brought me this little fella! It can go to my collection now."
She puts the unnamed toy on her bed full of other plushies and runs away to open some more presents.
Hours go by. Days go by. Weeks and months go by. Sophie doesn't touch the pink teddy bear. In fact, she doesn't take or even look at any of the plushies. It's pretty isolating, isn't it? All those toys, sitting sadly on the same bed, in the same position every day of the week.
One day, her father comes in her bedroom and tells her she has too much useless toys and that she needs to sort which ones stay and which ones go.
While sorting out plushies, she looks at the pink teddy bear. It has more pulled threads than before, its fur has gone stiffer and one ribbon disappeared. It looks old. Used. Sophie doesn't want ugly-looking toys, so she throws it in the trash where the teddy bear becomes as unimportant as everything else thrown in the bin.
It is surprising how a small act of kindness can make such big differences. It is quite unbelievable how everything you've ever wanted was right in front of you, hiding in a shadow of selfishness – you just have to look harder and start doing something in benefit of both you and the person you care about. And the teddy bear had a tough life, but at least it can think it was doing a good thing as it slowly dissolves into dust.