There’s always that one popular girl. At this college, that is Raven Blackwood. Raven is mysterious: she has long, shiny black hair and green eyes. She is beautiful, and not only that—she comes to school every day on a cool motorcycle. She is confident and brave. It is clearly visible, but no one understands why that girl doesn't like being popular. It’s every other girl's dream. The only thing Raven likes about her popularity is that she doesn't have to study or do homework because her fans do it for her.
One thing about this biker girl is that she doesn't like studying. She does it for her grandmother. Her grandmother is the only family she has. A few years ago her grandmother became very sick, and since then Raven has been taking care of her.
The sun rose over the city again, and Raven went into her grandmother’s room before school to ask how she was. Her grandmother said, “Do you know that your name, Beatrice, means ‘happy’ in Latin? It reminds me of you every morning when you wake up. You put a smile on your face and pretend like you’re okay, even though we both know you’re not.” As always, her grandmother asked her to give up motorcycles. Raven left saying she would be careful—though of course she wouldn’t. Naturally, she feels guilty because her grandmother used the money she had saved to pay for Raven’s college; with that money she could have bought medicine for her illness. But Raven is already a junior, and it would be foolish to quit school and chase her dreams of living off money she earns from motorcycle racing. Her grandmother doesn't want her to make the same mistake her father did. Now Raven only goes to school during the day, but what will she do at night?
The clock shows 10 o’clock. It’s night outside. Grandma is sleeping. Raven thinks about going out to that race. If she goes, maybe she’ll win money she can use to buy a small dose of the medicine her grandma needs, but if she goes she’ll risk her life. Raven doesn’t care if she dies on the motorcycle like her dad; she cares who will take care of her grandma then. In fact, Raven loves the smell of oil because it reminds her of her father. The only thing that keeps her from making a decision is guilt.
My father once said, “If I don’t try, I won’t know; if I don’t try, I’ve already lost.” I feel adrenaline, excitement, and happiness the moment I sit on the motorcycle, and never fear, because this is the only thing that understands me. A heavy, oversized helmet, loose clothing, long hair in a bun so they wouldn’t know I’m a woman. Unfortunately, the only way I can earn a little respect is by posing as a man. These are not ordinary people; they are dangerous and wealthy. They don’t need to see my face or know who I am.
Something happened—something I had wished for but never expected. I was third, then I overtook the rider with the most expensive motorcycle, then another one. Did I win? Yes! I did it! Not only that, but the prize is bigger than I expected.
The next morning was sad and strange. I wasn’t motivated to do anything. There was so much in my head that it drove me to tears. Half the day passed, and I asked my mom if I could go outside for a bit. She said yes. I thought about the whole situation and finally came to a conclusion.
Real friends will not treat you like this. If they had been true friends, we would all have been hanging out together. Instead, they left me and talked badly about me. I realized I could not trust them anymore, so I decided to leave them alone and never speak to them again. On the bright side, my summer friends were coming in a few days, so that was something to look forward to. Even now, this day still haunts me whenever I think about it. The story was driving me insane, and I had to tell someone, so I decided to write it down.I didn’t get enough sleep. I think today is Friday. Finally, tomorrow is the weekend. I’m going to wake Grandma. I still need to stop by the pharmacy and supermarket today. How much money will I spend? What if I go to the race again tonight? I can’t lose anything. Dad would be proud, but Grandma wouldn’t, so maybe it’s better if I don’t say anything. If she asks, I’ll say I’m working at some fancy place. It’s not okay that I’m lying to her, but this is the only way we can live well.
Raven has established her routine: in the morning and early afternoon she is at school; then she sleeps, and every night she races. In between all that she takes care of her grandmother, and her grandmother constantly tells her that her only wish is to die peacefully next to her granddaughter who takes care of her. Raven listens, even though she is completely confused, because she gives her medicine and the doctors say that she is recovering.
Those people whom Raven called dangerous are now drinking beer with her. The people she was afraid of still don’t know her name, but they call her by her last name. Raven is now with them. Raven Blackwood has learned that her father raced in the same place where she races every night. She is now his child with a hidden face—maybe one day he will admit who he really was. A daughter who wants to make a dead person proud of her.
When she gets home, she will find her grandmother dead. She will decide to leave school and follow her dreams. Our dear girl will always be surrounded by people, but she will always be lonely.