The night that was heavy, silver color that olny nights have when it seems as if the air itself was tired of breathing. The bridge was silent, you could only hear occasional car passing. The cars light and moon were only light of the whole night. The wind passed between the metal railings and made sound like a sight, long, tired and almost human.
Her name was Charlotte, her name means "free man". It symbolizes strenght, indenpence. She was everything but free, strong and independent. Her hands were shaking as she was grabbing cold bridge railing. As she was looking at scenary in front of her, thinking of her family, friends and life she is letting to stop, she felt a kick in her stomach. That was the reminder that she isn´´t here alone. She was six months pregnant. She didn´t plan anything, she was just walking, the streets looked foreign to her, each step was heavier than last, as if the asphalt has decided to hold her back, yet it had brought her right here.
She was tired. Tired of the silence of her mother who saw her as a mistake, tired of her dad who was imagining her life a bit different, tired of people looking at her differently and most of all, she was tired of herself, hers actions, tired of labels that people put on her. She regretted walking home that night. She deply regretted her revealing outfit and her stupidity that led her to be raped, and the worst thing she doesn´t even know who the father is, but she remembers every detail about him, his mask, his smell and his big black leather coat.
The bridge looked like a border: at one side all her mistakes, all looks, all that hurts and all labels she got, and on the other side, just calming silence.
She was stepping on an edge.
At that moment, a step was heard behind her.
"Hello..."
That voice was quiet, confronting and clear enought to cut throught the night. Charlotte started and turned, her heart was pounding like it was pounding like it is going to escape through the chest. She saw a young man, he was a few years younger that her. He was wearing a dark jacket, which is maybe too big for him, his hair was smudged from all the wind but his eyes were like a deep ocean; the perfect shade of blue. The same color as the water, dull but so beautiful and sparkly for the street lights.
"I am sorry" he said, he looked like he didn´t want to interfere with her actions.
"I know that this sounds stupit" he continued, "but is everything okay?"
That sentance broke something inside her, it was spoken without judgement, without curiosity, with so much care that it hit her harder than any insult she ever heard.
"No," she said finally. Her voice was soft. "Nothing is wrong." The young man moved foward, came closer to her but he was not too close. He respected her space, as he knew how fragile she was.
"I am Oscar," he said. "I don´t have to know everything. I just know that you don´t have to be alone here."
Charlotte laughted. "I have been alone my whole life."
Oscar shook his head. "Maybe, but not tonight."
Hearing that, Charlotte started to swell and tears started streaming. She tried to hold them back, but it was too late. " You don´t understand", she said "Nothing will change. People say time will heal, but it just passes and I think I am stuck." He was silent for a moment, he neither interrupted her, and he didn´t offer quick soutions. He just listened. "You know, a year ago my brother was standing right here", that shocked Charlotte, but he continued "I didn´t make it in time."
Charlotte didn´t know what to say so she just listened.
"And every day I wonder what I would have said if i had. What line I would have chosen. How could I prove that life is worth living and that pain
isn´t the whole story? How could I prove that everyone loved him? "Those words stuck with her, they put her in connection with him. She started to imagine her mom crying, her dad shaking on her funeral, her friends calling her to help them pick a beautiful black dress for her funeral, and then realizing that she isn´t answering them but her mom is the one taking a call.
"And you think that I should listen to everything you wish you told him? Your mistakes won´t magically disappear by healing me?" She asked. Oscar smiled, " Maybe or maybe I just need to be here because someone needed me to be here then." Charlotte lowered her foot from the edge of the bridge, but her hands still griped the railing tightly. "But you don´t know me, I am pregnant, everyone is judging me, they are disappointed in me and I cannot even look at myself so I am not blaming them, after all, I don´t even know who is the father since i was raped."It was a burden she had to share, "And I don´t know how to move foward. Even my parents don´t believe me." He looked at her stomack, than back at her. There was no shock or judgement in his eyes. "Than child already have someone fighting." He said. "But I am not fighting, I am giving up." He confronted her with; "Struggle sometimes looks like that" and I understand that you are scared, and that is normal to me, but giving up is not even an opinion now, you need to prove them that you are strong and I know that you will be the best mother ever." Charlotte closed her eyes, pitcures of her with her child were running throught her mind, a small baby, sounds of baby crying and sleepless nights, and she was scared of all of those. For the first time, she didn´t feel alone. "Why do you care?" She asked. "Because I know how the world looks without one smile, and I know how much one can change everything." Those words hung in the air, but then, through her tears, Charlotte smiled. It was fragile, almost invisible smile, but it was real. Oliver paused, as he witnessed something sacred. "There, here tears, Charlotte smiled. It was fragile, almost invisible smile,but iit was real. Olive paused, as he witnessed something sacred. "There",he said, "that smile. that is the beginning". Charlotte felt her body was relaxing, as if someone had untied a knot that has been choking her for months. She slowly moved away from the edge and sat on the bench besides the bridge. Oliver sat beside her. They talked for a long time, about little things, about big fears, about plans that didn't yet exist. The night slowly faded, and the first traces of dawn painted the sky a delicate pink color. When the sun rose, Charlotte knew that the world didn't change, but she felt better about her situation. The problem was still there, the unceratinty was still there, but something inside her changed. It was that one smile.
Years later, Charlotte would often thinka bout that night, about the bridge, about the wind, about that boy who saved her, Oliver; His name is sweet like candy. Her son, little Charles, is the perfect son. She is so proud of him and herself. After all, graduating with a little child is really difficult, with no support from her parents or the fathe rof the child. And on top of that, working two jobs so she can afford all of their expenses. When she looks back, she is proud of all her accomplishments and her bravery. She sometimes still talks to Oliver, and he sometimes visits little Charles. He always makes sure that he brings some toys and chocolates for the little guy. Charles loves Oliver so much that he sometimes says that he is his dad, and that mom always says that he saved her, even though he does not know what had happened on that beautiful night. Mom always says that she will tell him when he is a little bit older.
And now is the time, years passed, hot summers were replaced with cold but relaxing winters and Charles is now an adult, and it is time for him to know the truth so they headed for the bridge. They sat at the same bench where Charlotte and Oliver sat years ago. The road was louder, the city busier.
The night that changed her whole life was replaced by hot summer days and with the shining stars, beautiful trees whose smell is like the fresh start in the busy day. "Why did you bring me here, mum?"
He asked while looking at the scenery in the water, light bouncing on calming waters. Charlotte inhaled slowly, and suddenly the air felt lighter. "This is the place where our lives almost ended, also this is the place where my life truly began. Before you were born, I was scared, lonely and weak. I thought there was no place for me on earth. But then i met Oliver, and he changed everything, One smile at the time." Charles did not say a word, he just stared at the water which almost killed him.
"He showed me that i do not mean a lot to this world, but to someone I will be their whole world, and that I mean the world to someone, and that someone is you. I could not imagine my life without you."
"You mean the world to me, too, and I cannot thank you enough for all the love and care you showed to me. I love you mom.", he said as he stretched out his arms. They hugged and cried for so long that the nightt started to show itself. That night was almost as beautiful as the mother lived for her son and the son who gave his best to keep his mother in good care, and then, they truly smiled from the bottom of their hearts.